The Doom Tree

It's interview time yet again. I was getting a little worried during the last one, since Zoicite didn't seem to take a liking to me. Luckily Tuxedo Mask came in and they started fighting. As for the status of my car... heh, heh, you can't beat good old 1974 technology. The hood ornament is alright and that's the important thing. After all, it would be a lot harder to play pedestrian pool if I didn't have the hood ornament to line them up with. This time I will be interviewing the Doom Tree. Next time I will be interviewing Serena (a.k.a - Sailor Moon). It should be interesting. To avoid confusion I will be identified by D while the Doom Tree will be identified with DT. Well, on with the interview.

D: [knocks on apartment door] Anybody home? A: Yeah, what do you want? D: Oh hi Ann, I'm here to interview the Doom Tree. A: Yeah right, [leads interviewer to door] here you go. [pushes interviewer through] D: thanks Ann...Ahhh!! [interviewer falls into abyss] [thud] Oww.. Geeze it sure is dark in here. How can they afford rent on a place this big? [begins walking around] Crap! I'm lost. E: Looking for something? D: Yeah where's the Doom tree? E: Oh, that's right over there. D: Uh, thanks...I'm sorry I didn't catch your name. E: Well, I don't remember my exact name because some aliens wiped my memory. D: So what do people call you? E: They call me the king baby! Think I'll sing a little song...[wanders off] D: Hmmm...weird guy. Ah! There it is. About time I found you. DT: Hey, I gave you exact directions. D: Yeah, too the apartment, but not in it. What kind of second rate dimension is this anyway? DT: What's wrong with this one? D: It's just black. You should go over to the Iczer series. They got real dimensions over there! DT: Yeah, it sucks. Ann & Allen don't plan things too well. You think they would have looked for a bigger apartment but Noooo. "Hey, this is a nice apartment. Oh, rats! Not enough room for the tree in the closet, so we'll just throw it in some half price dimension." I tell you..kids these days... D: So you didn't have a say? DT: Well, at the time I couldn't speak, and discipline has always been a problem with those two. That's one reason that it's a drag being a tree: you can't just whoop on the kids when they do something wrong. Ya gatta be all nice and friendly. D: Yes, you certainly deserve better treatment. Your like the Mr. Ed of the plant world. DT: Well, I wouldn't go degrading my talents to those of a talking horse. After all I've been in a lot of anime you know! D: Oh really? DT: Yep, I was that big freaky tree in Oh! My Goddess. D: Really? It doesn't look like you. DT: Yeah well, you know how it goes... a little make up, a different camera angle...everything is done with trick photography these days. D: Wow, I didn't know that. DT: I had some other smaller roles too. I had a short appearance in Vampire Princess Miyu. My first job was in Macross. When Lisa and Karl are under a tree - that's me. Of course I wasn't as well drawn back then. D: Of course your biggest role is in Sailor Moon. DT: Yeah, it's kind of a pain though. Now my whole family wants in on the picture. I got most of them a small part in the episode "Cherry Blossom Time". Uncle Ralf got the part of the tree with the Scouts sticking out of him. He wasn't too happy with it though. He said the Scouts ruined his stage presence. D: Hey what's this? [looking at odd fruit that is pear shaped] DT: Oh! That's just my fruit....try one. D: [takes bite] ...tastes like chicken. DT: I bear them every other year around this time. D: You seem to bear a lot of them. What do you do with them, I mean there's only Ann and Allen to eat them... and they don't eat food. DT: Err.. We make...pies and stuff. D: Hey, what's that over there? DT: Hmmm?....what...er, where? D: That...hey, that looks like a still. DT: Ah...no it's not...it's a...weed whacker --Yeah, that's it-- D: Hey, I may be a little slow but I know a still when I see one. What's going on around here anyway? Looks like some sort of moonshine operation.. DT: I'm getting a little tired of you asking all of these questions. Maybe I'll just suck out your energy. D: Hey, I thought you needed warm fuzzy energy to grow, and I don't have any. DT: You're not warm and fuzzy? D: Only when I don't shave. DT: [menacingly] heh, heh...well I guess old habits are hard to break. D: Gotta go! [runs] DT: Hey! You'll never escape! Mwa, ha, ha, ha! E: Quick through here! [points into warp hole] D: Hey thanks....uh...king....hey, wait your Elv... [sucked into warp hole]