Well, it's interview time again. Today I will be interviewing Amy, also known as Sailor Mercury. I'm looking forward to some nice intelligent conversation. You might be wondering how I got away from Nephlite during the last interview. Luckily, because of his bad parking, his car got towed and he couldn't chase me. Heh, heh, better luck next time, Nephlite. Next time I will be interviewing the general from the Negaverse Zoicite. It should prove interesting. To avoid confusion I will be identified by D while Amy will be identified by A. Well, on with the interview.
A: Hi, I'm here. D: Wow! You're actually on time. That's a first with my interviews. A: I usually try to make it early. Better than late, like Serena. D: Thanks for taking the time to talk with me. A: You're welcome. D: First of all, I gotta ask: What's with the blue hair? A: I have blue hair?!! D: (holds out mirror) Sure, take a look. A: Oh my! D: Come to think of it, why does Serena's mother have purple hair? A: She has purple hair?! D: Alright geeze, sorry I asked. I've been hearing a lot about how smart you are. A: (modestly) That's awfully kind, but I'm really not that smart. D: Well, that's what I'm going to find out with a series of questions I have right here (interviewer holds up piece of paper). A: Oh... I don't know... D: First: What is a lachrymatory? A: Well, it's a sort of a vase for collecting tears used by... D: Good enough. What is monostrophe? A: A poem that... D: Who really shot JFK? (see last interview) A: Elvis. D: What does TNT stand for? A: The correct chemical name is... ah... 1-methyl-2,4,6 trinitro-benzine, but it is commonly called 2,4,6-trinitro-tululene, often without the numbers. D: What would this molecule be called? (shows diagram). A: Ah... let's see... that would be 1-ethyl-2,4,6 trimethylhexane. (annoyed) Are you convinced yet? D: Yeah, I was convinced after the first three answers. The last two I needed for chemistry homework. A: But that's cheating! D: Er... no it isn't, it's... um... collective learning, yeah, that's it. A: (upset) It sure sounds like cheating to me! D: (changing subject) I hear you have an I.Q. of 300. A: Yes. D: People have asked me if this is possible. A: Yes it is, but you see I.Q. is not a good determinant of intelligence. It only measures a certain aspect of intelligence. The thing that is the worst about I.Q. is that it mainly measures a person's mental maturity verses age. If a person didn't get any smarter at age twenty then by I.Q. standards that person would actually be getting less intelligent every year by I.Q. standards because I.Q. mesaures intelligence then divides it by age. So that's why your I.Q. is so high. You're super smart for any age but since you're only 14, your score is through the roof. A: Yes, that's right. D: Interesting... uh say, what are you doing this Friday night? A: Oh, nothing, why? D: (in suave voice) Oh, I just thought that maybe you and I could go out. A: Actually, now that I think about it I really should do my homework. D: (mumbles to self) She'd rather do homework than go out with me? Gee, how flattering. A: What's that? I couldn't hear you. D: Oh nothing... Ah... Sprechen Sie Deutch? --(Do you speak German) A: Ya, Ich spreche nur wenig Deutsch --(Yes, I speak a little German) D: Das ist fabelhaft! Ich glaube, meine Dusche hat vielleicht eine Lebensmittelvergiftung. --(That's great! I think my shower may have food poisoning.) A: Entshuldigen Sie bitte. Ich verstehe Sie nicht. --(Please excuse me. I didn't understand you.) D: Ah... Wiefiel dostet das WC? --(Um... How much does the toilet cost?) A: Ach, du meine Gute! Sie sind verucht und dein Deutch ist schlimm! --(Good grief! You're crazy and your German is terrible!) D: Excuse me? I didn't understand. A: Oh, never mind. D: Hey, could I take a look at your computer? A: Sure. Here, let me just clear this screen. D: Hey, what's that? A: No, get away! (Struggle ensues) D: Ah ha! It's a picture of Greg. A: (blushes deeply) I ah... D: Oh come on now, don't be all bashful, I know that you like him a lot. A: What?! Where did you get that nutzoid idea? Look, do you want to see my computer or not? D: Yeah. (examines computer) Hey, this is pretty neat. Who would fix this if it broke down? A: I really don't know. That's the problem with stuff from the Moon Kingdom: the warrantees all ran out a couple hundred years ago. D: Can I hook this up to my calculator? A: I don't see why not. D: Hmmm... it doesn't appear to be working. (Examines plug.) Ah! Here's the problem! There's some dirt on the tip. I'll just clean it off. A: No, don't! D: (places plug on tongue and gets shocked) YEEEOWWW! A: Oh! My, there's smoke coming out of your ears. Are you alright?
Next time I will be interviewing Zoicite. See you there.
© 1997 archen@scythe.net