Jedite

Well it's interview time again. My hair is finally growing back thanks to some miracle grow. Steve decided to split since he refused to be a true side kick and wear tights. This time I will be interviewing the General of the Negaverse Jedite. Next time I will be interviewing Queen Serenity. It should prove interesting. To avoid confusion I will be identified by D, and Jedite will be identified by J. Well, on with the interview.



[interviewer waits] la lala lala... 

[Jedite bursts through the door in a tacky maroon 
velvet suit from the 70's] 

J:   Hey I'm here.

D:   Hello.. Jedite... [looks at suit and cringes]  

J:   Sorry my man, I'm not Jedite. I'm his personal manager.  
     Call me Jed. 

D:   Yeah right!  As if! What's with the outfit?  

J:   Isn't this what all personal managers wear?  

D:   Um.. I'm not sure....   

J:   Well of course it is!  I got style baby! 

D:   You mean your fashion senseless!  

J:   What's that supposed to mean?  

D:   Do the other generals know you dress this way??  

J:   Heck no!.. if Zoicite saw this...  

D:   Ah ha!! I knew you were Jedite!! 

J:   I am not... er... DOE!!! 

D:   hee hee.. I'll call you Jed still alright?  

J:   [pouting] nope.. Now you've gone and ruined it. 

D:   Aww.. Come on Jed!  

J:   Don't call me that! I am Jedite. 

D:   Alright alright.. Sheesh.. So Jedy-baby.....  

J:   Don't call me that either!! 

D:   Alright, so Jedite.  What's with the hair?  

J:   What do you mean.. All the Nega-chicks dig it! 

D:   Er.. Yeah, but your the only general with short hair! 

J:   That's because I was horribly wounded back during the 
     Nega-civil war. 

D:   You guys had a civil war??  Why?

J:   Well we're evil aren't we? We don't need a reason for 
     war... actually we were bored....  And there was this 
     guy who made fun of another guys mother and there was 
     this water buffalo... 

D:   Yeah yeah, but what does this have to do with your hair?  

J:   I don't really have any hair. [pulls off wig] 

D:   Ahhhhhhhh!!!  

J:   [puts hair back on] Oh stop. It ain't that bad.. Is 
     your hair real?? [pulls interviewers hair]  

D:   Ow!  Stop that!  It better be. . . other wise I'm getting 
     ripped off when I get haircuts! [gets away] So do you have 
     any new schemes to suck up energy?
     
J:   Yes, In fact our next plan is to bait people in using a pet 
     washing service.  We have a new concept that we believe will 
     save people time, and should draw in a large crowd.  Take a 
     look [tosses an advertizement]. 

D:   [reading] hmm... I see ....... wait a second!  People will 
     never go for this! Your going to use that machine?!  
     
J:   Yes, we believe it will be more efficient than current methods.  

D:   That's just a bloody Maytag washing machine!  Anyone can stuff 
     a cat in a washing machine and put it on spin cycle!  
     
J:   Really? Then I guess we'll have to resort to selling pet rocks...  

D:   That's been done. 

J:   How about mood rings?  

D:   ...been done...  

J:   [getting mad] alright, how about selling rabid squirrels as 
     attack guard pets! 

D:   Er..I don't think that's been done...  Probably because there's 
     no market for it... 

J:   Who needs a market... we'll just promote it!  

D:   Uh... sure Jedo...  

J:   Don't call me that!  

D:   ...So any other plans to take over the world? 

J:   None that I wish to disclose at this juncture. 

D:   Ooooh... what a big vocabulary you have! [snicker] 

J:   Hey! 

D:   What's up with you and Tidus anyway?  

J:   Err... what about her? 

D:   She likes you ya know....  

J:   She does not!!  

D:   The sly Jedo-meyster....makin the scene..  

J:   Can we change the subject? 

D:   Jedy's got a girlfriend. Jedy's got a girlfriend... 
     Nya ha ha ha! 

J:   That's it! [zaps interviewer with electricity] 

D:   Ooch! Stop that! 

J:   I'll show you... you little twirp... 

D:   Eep! [escapes out of room]

J:   I'll get you sooner or later!!! ...where's that squirrel...