Sailor Mars Interview

Well it's interview time once again. This time I will be interviewing Raye, a.k.a Sailor Mars. Actually I'm not really going to be interviewing her. This time I will be doing a one time deal and my side kick Steve: the Thane of Cawdor, will be doing most of the interview.. Well he's not exactly my side kick.. But I'm not going to be the side kick because the side kick always gets the crap beat out of them, and I sure as heck ain't going to stand for that!

Anyway, next time I was considering doing an interview with myself, but instead I decided to do an interview with my favorite Negaverse general: Jedite. It should be interesting. To avoid confusion, Raye will be identified with R:, Steve will be identified by S:, and I will be identified by D:. Well, on with the interview.




S: Oh, goodie! Rei has invited me inside of her Shinto temple to do
   this interview.   I can' hardly wait!

R:   Hey, take your shoes off when you come in the temple.

S:   Oops, sorry, forgot.

R:   Honestly, some people... what's that smell?

S:   I... uh... I don't notice anything.

R:   Come on, let's get this over with.

S:   Geez, why are you so mean, Rei?

R:   Because I'm not Rei; I am the DiC version, Raye.

S:   What's the difference?

R:   Mainly, I act like a complete *itch and pretend that I hate Serena
     most of the time.  So, like the original, we argue constantly.
     
S:   Yes, you do like to argue a lot.

R:   No I don't.

S:   Yes you do.

R:   No I don't.

S:   Yes yo- [slap] OUCH!

R:   Can we move on, please?

S:   Oh, sure.  So, how is life in a Shinto Temple.

R:   Tedious.  There's a lot of chores to be done.  But, afterwards,
     I can meditate and read into the sacred fire.

S:   [sarcastically] Sounds like fun.

R:   It is intriguing.  Also, being a Shinto priestess helps me as
     Sailor Mars.  I am able to use this ofuda to paralyze the enemy.
     
S:   Looks like a funny post-it-note.

R:   Grrr...

  [examining ofuda]

S:   Let me see if I can read this thing.  Uh, A-ku-er-uh...
     my mother is a WHAT?
     
R:   Forget it.

S:   Yeah, well then, what else do you do as Sailor Mars?

R:   I get to slap around Serena and set things on fire.

S:   Er... sounds like fun, too.  
     Hey, I guess you never have to ask anyone for a light, 
     eh? [nudge]  Huh? [wink] Ain't that right? [knee slap]
     
R:   You think you're a riot, don't you?

S:   Serena laughs at my jokes.

R:   Serena laughs at anything!

S:   See?

R:   Harumph .

D:   [runs in] sorry I'm late... what's that smell?


S:   You know, I was just telling her about that.  
     You should switch to Pine Sol.

D:   Hey isn't that a umm... whatever you call those 
     paper charm thingys.
     
R:   Yes it's an ofuda, you moron 

D:   I think I got one of these in a fortune cookie once.

S:   Did it bring you good luck?

D:   No the cookie was stale and I got indigestion.  I've 
     been meaning to ask you Raye: Where exactly do you keep 
     these charms?  I mean it's not like you have any pockets 
     on that skimpy Scout outfit.
     
R:   [wink] That's a secret.

D & S:   Oooooohhh!!!

R:   Ah. I feel a strange presence...

D:   Oh never mind that.  That's just the guardian spirit 
     of my site.
     
R:   Maybe I should exorcize it.

D:   Uh, no.  He really doesn't like jumping around 
     and the whole bit...
     
S:   I think she means ex-OR-cize, not exercise.

D:   Oh, I don't think he'd like that either....
     Say what are you doing this Friday Raye?
     
S:   Oh, boy... [rolls eyes]

R:   Working I suppose.

D:   [in suave voice] heh, heh.  I just thought that maybe 
     you and I could go out or something.

R:   [begins beating interviewer with broom] You pervert.  
     I'm only 14!
     
S:   Heeheehee!  Ooh...

D:   Ow, ow...Yeah but Darien is like 20 something, 
     and you went out with him.
     
R:   [pauses] Oh, right [smacks Archen once more for good measure] 
     And stop roasting marshmallows on the sacred fire!
     
S:   Sorry.

D:   Hey, gimmie one.

  Chad pokes his head in the room: "Raye, grampa says you have to
       sweep the steps again. [sniff]  What's that smell?"

S:   Oh yeah, that's right.  You live here with Grandpa AND him too.

R:   What's your point?

C:   Yeah, what's your point?

R:   Go away, Chad.

C:   Nobody likes me! [ runs off crying ]

S:   I can't believe you'd treat your boyfriend like that.

R:   !!! Who told you that?

S:   Why, Archen did.

D:   [nervously] What?  Hey, you weren't supposed to tell 
     her that!
     
S:   Oops.

R:   Oh yeah?  Mars Fire Ignite!

D:   Cool! Fire.....yeow!  That's my hair!