Today I will be interviewing the queen of the Negaverse: Queen Berril. I've noticed that when interviewing the queen of the Negaverse, you always get the feeling that your life is in peril. Next time I will be interviewing Tuxedo Mask. It should be interesting. Well on with the interview.

D:  Thanks for taking the time to speak with me.    

QB: Yes, I've been rather buisy, but my PR agent thought I could use 
    the good press.    

D:  What have you been buisy with exactly?    

QB: Planning to destroy your puny planet of course.    

D:  Oh I see, and how are you planning to do that?   

QB: Do you really think that I will reveal my military secrets to you?     

D:  No, but it can't hurt to ask.   

QB: Mabee I should freeze you in a cristal like Jedite.  

D:  (Quickly changing the subject) Hey what's in the crystal ball?

QB: Get away from there. (too late I'm already looking at it)

D:  HBO! How did you get that installed here?   

QB: Uh...we...uh...    

D:  It isn't illeagally spliced in is it?  

QB: (nervously) No! no, of courese not. I should vaporize you for 
    that accusation.  Puny human with no powers...  

D:  Hey, I've got super powers too you know!    

QB: Oh?  Like what?  

D:  Well, I have the ability to get completely lost, and have no 
    idea where I am, and still end up where I was going.  I'm also 
    resistant to electricution, which was proven when I Jerry-rigged 
    my car sterio.  

QB: How would you like to work for the Negaverse?  

D:  Well...How's you dental plan?    

QB: Full coverage, just look at my teeth.  

D:  Gee, you shure have long eye teeth.  

QB: Thank you.  

D:  Well I'll think about it... I've heard that the Negaverse is 
    comming out with it's own line of commercial products; like a 
    Negaverse cereal.  

QB: Ah, yes the Negaverse cereal-take a look (throws me the box).  

D:  Hmmm...interesting.  

QB: We call them Nega-O's. In each box there's a figure of a 
    Negaverse general.  There's also a Sailor Moon dart board on 
    the back of the box.  

D:  Let's take a look at the ingredients:  sugar, salt, wheat 
    by-products, ammonium lauryl sulfate, cloro-floro-carbons, mustard 
    gas (phosgene), uranium 235...ect.  Hey! It also says vitamin X 
    added. What's that?   

QB: It instantly turns people into nega-slaves...er...I mean, 
    it fills the cereal full of wheat and grain tasty goodness.    

D:  Is it approved by the FDA?  

QB: The FDA? (pauses) Curses foiled again.    

D:  How about Nephlite's new hare care products?  

QB: Well his shampoo is rather good.  It's brown and smells bad, 
    but it does wonders for your roots.  He says he finds the main 
    component in small piles in cow pastures.   

D:  Um...sounds,uh,good (I guess)  

QB: Would you like some?  

D:  (blurted out) No! That's quite all right.  (Quickly changes the 
    subject again) How about that new Negaverse CD?   

QB: Yes, the Negaverse sound track.  We found two kids from...well, 
    I don't remember where they were from.  The girl sings, and the 
    guy plays a funny looking flute.  Here (throws me the CD case).  

D:  Let's see.. 

Track listings include:

• 1)Them Darn Scouts,
• 2)Shake Your Nega-Booty,
• 3)My Girls Only 14 (Nephlite's song),
• 4)Smells Like Nega-Spirit,
• 5)I Got Run Over By A Jumbo Jet Blues (Jedites Song),
• 6)Wooly Nega-Bully.

QB: Here listen. (plays a track)  What do you think?  

D:  Sounds like a choking chicken with a flute accompanyment.  

QB: Why you little...  

D:  Yikes! (Interviewer runs for life) 

QB: (throwing bolts of lightning) I'll get you  and your little dog too.  

D:  He, he, what luck! A Nega-time space distortion warp hole thingy. 
    (jumps though warp hole)  

QB: Wait! You haven't tried our Nega-Cream Puffs  

Next time I'll be interviewing Tuxedo Mask.

© 1996 archen@scythe.net